


Closure/Begin Again

by Billie_Be_Lurkin



Series: Partners for Life [2]
Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friendship, Lesbian Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-14 11:13:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17507534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billie_Be_Lurkin/pseuds/Billie_Be_Lurkin
Summary: An exploration of a close friendship as it turns into something more. Not a story with chapters in the traditional sense, but each 'chapter' is in the same AU timeline.





	1. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes closure is necessary to begin the healing process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think these two pieces work better after having read the first batch in the series. Those provide better context for the dynamics between Sadie and my OC Zorah.

John was used to yelling. Miss Grimshaw would yell all the time at anybody and anything. Arthur would yell at him just to get his attention so he could call him stupid. Dutch would always yell about something needing to get done. Everyone yelled at Bill. And Abigail was constantly yelling at him. Yelling was just something he knew how to deal with.

What he never learned to handle was the silence that inevitably came after all the yelling was done. So, he stood in the kitchen, awkwardly shifting from side to side, pretending to whip up some lunch instead of blatantly staring at the door behind which the previously furious yelling had come to a head.

“You want me to leave? Then I’ll goddamn leave!”

He had just peeked his head around the corner when the door had opened and Zorah came stomping out with a pack on her back. He ducked his head back around the corner and tried to look busy. After he'd seen the look on Zorah's face though, he couldn't help but holler as she went out the front door, "Hey, where are you going?"

The only answer he received was the sound of the door slamming closed behind her. He looked back at the bedroom door, which was still ajar, and then back to the front door trying to understand what was happening. When he looked back again at the bedroom door, Sadie stood in the doorway, facing the wall out of sight. She was likely looking out the window there. He thought he saw her wiping her face with her hand but it happened so fast that he wasn't exactly sure what he had seen.

She had her hands on her hips and shook her head before letting out a low curse. She turned and saw John peeking around the corner at her. Startled, she let out an angry growl and quickly slammed the door.

 

Zorah tossed her saddlebags onto the fence and went to grab the bridle and her saddle. She called her horse over and began outfitting it. Abigail, who had been outside hanging up laundry came over with a worried look on her face.

"Hey! Where the hell are you going?"

Each move Zorah made was laced with aggravation. She was almost done gearing up her horse and was tightening the straps of her saddle. "I'm leaving," she curtly replied.

"What do you mean you're leaving? For how long?" Abigail asked, sounding worried.

Zorah lifted herself onto her horse in one swift move. She nudged her horse around and looked down at Abigail. "For as long as is needed. I can't be around her when she's like this, Abigail. I can't."

Abigail didn't know how to respond and Zorah didn't give her a chance to anyways as she goaded her horse into a run and galloped away. Just outside the perimeter, Tilly was casually riding in from running errands in town. She called out to Zorah as she sped by, but didn't receive a response. She turned to watch Zorah disappear with a confused look on her face and then went to greet Abigail.

"What was all that about?" Tilly asked as she got down from her horse. Abigail began helping her with the sacks of supplies she had gotten; enough to weigh down her horse a bit, but not enough to warrant a wagon.

"Sadie, I think. Their fighting's gotten bad enough that apparently Zorah has decided to leave."

"Leave?" Tilly shouted, shocked. "Well, how long is she gonna be gone for? She knows I'm leaving in just a few days, doesn't she?"

"She knows. Maybe she told John where she was going. He's inside." Abigail turned and called out to her son, "Jackie, time to come inside!" Jack finished hanging up the last of the laundry and came to his mother as soon after he was called.

Abigail interrogated John about what he had possibly heard to no avail. Tilly eventually saved him by sensibly stating that the only one who would know was Sadie, and nobody was willing to venture into that lioness' den yet.

 

Zorah didn't return that night or the next. Tilly was scheduled to leave that following morning. The six of them — Abigail, John and Jack, Sadie, Zorah and Tilly — had holed up in a small, abandoned cabin far away from the chaos that had ended the Dutch van der Linde gang. They made plans to leave separately after they had all figured out what they wanted to do. Tilly was going to be the first one to head out and start a new life.

Abigail had just finished helping Tilly strap her pack onto her horse when John returned from scouting ahead. He had wanted to make sure there weren't any signs of the Pinkertons waiting to ambush them when he escorted her into town. Zorah still hadn't come back.

Everyone was saying their goodbyes and wishing her well. Abigail, who hated showing any emotion other than anger, was having a hard time holding back her tears. "We'll miss you," Abigail said, voice breaking.

Abigail enveloped Tilly in a tight embrace. "I'll miss you, too. I won't miss the trouble you get into, but I will miss you," Tilly laughed while trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. She hugged Abigail a second time, tears now freely flowing from the both of them.

She said goodbye to little Jack who was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He gave her one of his favorite books. She planted a kiss on his forehead. She thanked him and told him to never stop reading. She hugged John and made him promise to do right by his family. Finally, it was Sadie's turn to say goodbye. They hadn't known each other for very long, but they had been friends through an extremely difficult time.

Tilly held Sadie's hands and looked at her intently. "You saved us. When we were on the brink, you saved us. I'll never forget what you've done."  
Sadie smiled and shook her head. "I was just paying back what I owe."

"You didn't us owe that much," Tilly said, matter of factly. "But you do owe Zorah. She's done right by you. She deserves the same."

Sadie's smile fell and she had the decency to look ashamed. "Yeah, I know" she replied, nodding.

"Yeah, you do," Tilly said before hugging her. She got on her horse and said her final goodbye. John got back on his horse, ready to escort her into town.

"You ready?" He asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

He nodded. "Good. We'll see Zorah on the way so you can say goodbye to her, too."

A chorus of "whats" went up and everyone looked at him. "John Marston, you mean to tell us that you knew where Zorah was the whole time?" Abigail yelled.

"Not the whole time! I saw her this morning while I was scouting ahead. She ain't exactly hiding." John said, not entirely sure of what he had done wrong.

Abigail looked at Sadie and then back at John, exasperation clear on her face. "You could've said that in the first place, you stupid man!"

"Well, I didn't know!"

 

Zorah stood on the shore, fishing while the sun rose above the horizon. She had tied up her twisting locs so that they were out of her face. She looked relaxed and ease with cross-backed suspenders in place of her usual tidy vest, as if she’d fished these waters her whole life.

Tilly came riding up and Zorah turned to greet her. Tilly got down from her horse and stood next to Zorah, quietly watching the sunrise. John lit a cigarette and stayed on his horse, keeping a lookout for any trouble close to the road.

Tilly broke their comfortable silence first, "It's beautiful out here."

"It sure is." Zorah replied, nodding.

Tilly inclined her head, looking at the makeshift rack Zorah had put up. The thing was about ready to collapse in on itself with how many decently sized fish Zorah had hung up on it. "You leave any fish in the lake?"

"Barely." Zorah let silence linger for a beat before continuing, "So, you're heading out for good, huh?"

"Yup. I almost can't believe it. Almost doesn't feel real."

"I know. It's the end of a life and simultaneously the beginning of a new one."

Tilly wove her arm through Zorah's and leaned on her. "You remember all the trouble we used to get up to? Just the two of us?"

Zorah smirked. "Yeah. We caused a lot of chaos. Didn't we?"

"We did." Tilly squeezed Zorah's arm. "I'll miss you. You're like an older sister to me, you know. You always had my back."

"And you always had mine. You gonna be okay on your own?"

Tilly scoffed. "I'm thinking I might even be safer than I ever was with you clowns."

"I think you might be right." Zorah laughed. She set down her fishing rod and untangled herself from Tilly. The brilliant colors of the sunrise had dissipated as the sun lit up the world around them. Zorah walked over to her pack and rifled through it. "Here. I got you something."

Tilly came over. In Zorah’s hands was a nice mahogany jewelry box. She gently wiggled the box at her, prompting Tilly to take it. She marveled at the box for moment before opening it. She let out a gasp and looked at Zorah who had come to stand by her side. Inside the box was a platinum chain necklace that glinted in the sunlight.

Without being asked, Zorah said, "Didn't even steal it. It's got a receipt and all."

"I don't believe it," Tilly said, smirking. Zorah lifted it from its place in the box and stood behind Tilly, and helped her put it on. She posed and asked Zorah how it looked on her.

"Like it was made for you."

Tilly hugged Zorah. When she pulled away there were tears in her eyes that she quickly wiped away. Zorah smiled sadly at her. "Thank you."

"You deserve the best."

"And so do you. Which is why you need to talk to Sadie."

Zorah shook her head and rolled her eyes, and walked over to Tilly's horse. "Why'd you have to go and ruin a nice moment?"

"Because it's good for you," Tilly replied, following her. "You two need to make up. Y'all are the best of friends. You're good together and you make a good team."

Zorah helped Tilly get on her horse. "Tilly, I don't think Sadie and I are good together. The way she gets... I don't deserve to be talked to like that just for a suggestion."

Tilly looked down at Zorah and argued, "Well, it is getting close to the anniversary. She's always rightfully sensitive around this time. You have to forgive her for that."

"I do forgive her for that! But the amount of vitriol that woman can spew is unmatched." Zorah said, holding Tilly’s brown hand in hers. Tilly narrowed her eyes and gave her a stern look. "Fine. I'll go back."

"Good." Tilly squeezed Zorah's hand. "I guess I said what I had to say, so I'll stop giving you a hard time now."

Zorah laughed and shook her head. She sighed, steeling herself. "Well, Tilly Jackson, I hope that wherever you're going that when people look at you they see a person and not a thing. And that you live peacefully, and suffer no fools."

"I'll try. You stay out of trouble, Zorah West."

"I'll do my best." Zorah said, tipping her hat. She whistled at John to catch his attention. "John, you make sure Tilly gets on her boat without any issues, ya hear?"

John threw a quick "yes, ma'am" at Zorah before heading towards the road. Zorah gave Tilly's hand a reassuring squeeze and stepped back. A knowing look passed between them and then Tilly handled the reins of her horse and urged it back onto the road. Zorah watched as the pair rode off. Tilly being Tilly, she didn't look back no matter how much she had wanted to. Just like that, the woman Zorah had considered to be her sister for a considerable amount of her lifetime had left her for what would hopefully be a better life.

 

That night after Tilly had left, Zorah returned to the secluded cabin that operated as the group's temporary safe-house. Abigail welcomed her with a hearty pat on the back and little Jack enthusiastically recounted all the stuff that happened while she'd been gone, which wasn't much, but somehow he'd made it seem like a lot. 

Sadie watched from the doorway as Zorah took trips taking the fish she had stowed on her horse to the small shed behind the cabin. Jack helped by carrying some of the smallest ones. Zorah brought back one middling sized fish for Abigail to cook up for dinner. Jack, holding her hand, led the way into the house. Sadie stood in the doorway and ruffled his hair as he squeezed by.

"Hey," Sadie said as Zorah shuffled past. Zorah ignored her and followed Jack into the kitchen. Sadie let out a heavy sigh that blew a loose strand of hair up out of her face before floating back down. She swore under her breath once Zorah and Jack were out of sight. It was going to be a long frustrating day.

 

Long after every one else had gone to bed, Zorah sat with her arms wrapped around her knees stoking a dying fire. The room was warm with a dry heat that kept the autumn chill at bay. As the crackling of the fire lulled Zorah to sleep she heard the soft thump of feet approaching her. The boards creaked as the person sat down beside her and wrapped their arms around their knees, mirroring Zorah.

Zorah tensed, but tried to ignore the woman next to her. For a long while they sat in silence, listening to the crackling of the fire and rhythmic inhale and exhales of each other's breathing. Slowly, the tension in Zorah's shoulders relaxed and once again the flames of the fire and its almost rhythmic hisses and cracks began to lull her to sleep.

Sadie's gravelly voice broke Zorah out of her trance, "I made a decision." Her voice seemed to take up the entire room even though she had barely spoken above a whisper. Zorah didn't rise to the bait so Sadie continued, "I’m gonna return to the homestead."

Sadie was looking at her, but Zorah had pointedly looked away. “Good for you.” Zorah said, her usually rich voice coming out dry and abrasive.

A salty reply was better than the silence Sadie had expected and she took it as encouragement to continue. “I’m a damn fool. You’ve been a good friend, and I had no right to run you out of here like I did, saying all those hurtful things.”

“Yeah, you are a damn fool.” For the first time in days, Zorah’s eyes met hers devoid of any of the anger Sadie had provoked in them.

Sadie chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. “I really am.” A comfortable silence settled between them. Zorah stoked the fire, moving the hot coals around and Sadie threw a log on them.

Zorah shifted to a more relaxed position and leaned back, stretching her legs out towards the fire. Sadie relaxed as well, but kept her arms wrapped around her knees. She poked Zorah’s foot, grabbing the woman’s attention. “I’m sorry for being an ass. Can you forgive me?”

Zorah sighed and looked at the ceiling before looking at her. “Yeah, I forgive you.”

Sadie grinned and poked Zorah’s foot again. Zorah countered the gesture by gently smacking Sadie with the side of her foot. Her victim sighed, glad that things between them had been mended. Sadie scratched at the wooden floor they sat on. “Will you come with me?”

“Come with you where,” Zorah asked, distracted. She was trying to work out the kinks in her neck and shoulders.

“To the homestead,” came a quiet almost shy reply. Zorah sat up slowly and looked at Sadie. “I’d really appreciate it if you went with me. Help me take stock of things. Bury Jake if he’s still up there.”

Zorah laid a reassuring hand on Sadie’s shoulder. “I’d be honored to.”

Sadie gave her an unsure look. “Even though I was an ass to you?”

“Yes, even though you were an ass,” Zorah laughed. She squeezed Sadie’s shoulder and then pulled her into a one-armed hug. 

Sadie laid her head on Zorah’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

A few days later, the Marstons set out to begin their new life and Sadie and Zorah began their journey into the mountains. Because it was late autumn, snow was beginning to pepper the ground and stick. Tuffs of green dotted the landscape, and the rivers and mountain lakes were ice cold, but not yet completely frozen over. Still the women had dressed warmly in preparation for the cold, hard trip ahead of them.

The sky was clear and the remains of the Adler homestead were startling amongst the relatively untouched wilderness around the area. Nature had begun to reclaim most of the space in and around the blackened and worn frame that had once been Sadie’s house. The house was in ruins, but the small shed and barn beyond it looked weathered but unblemished.

Sadie got off her horse and Zorah followed suit keeping a watchful eye on her. Last Sadie had seen her husband, he had been unceremoniously placed on the back of a horseless wagon with a nothing but a blanket to cover his body. The wagon was still there, but one of its wheels had either rotted or fallen off, leaving it awkwardly leaning to one side. What was left of the blanket was shredded and unable to cover much of the bodily remains underneath it.

Sadie slowly crept up to the wagon. She pulled down the scarf she’d wrapped around her face. Hesitation laced her every move and carefully she reached out a hand to remove the torn blanket. The consistently low temperatures of the mountains had slowed, but not stopped the decomposition process. Sadie gasped and froze where she stood when she saw the face of the man she loved. Zorah saw recognition flash over her face and placed, what she hoped, was a comforting hand on Sadie’s tense shoulder.

“Is it him?” Zorah cautiously asked. For a long moment Sadie did not answer and Zorah decided to attempt to get her attention once more. She gently squeezed Sadie’s shoulder and asked, “Sadie?”

Sadie jumped, startled. She tore her gaze away from the painful sight before her and focused on the woman beside her. Unspilt tears welled up in her eyes and she struggled to keep them at bay. She took a deep inhale and nodded. “It’s him,” she said, finally exhaling. Her voice cracked as she repeated herself and the emotional dam she’d built up crumbled.

Tears silently ran down her face and angrily wiped at them, trying and failing to stop them. Zorah reached an arm around Sadie’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug to try and comfort her. The two of them stood like that for a few solemn moments. Zorah rubbed Sadie’s back until finally the woman in her arms pulled away from her. With a final sniff, Sadie cleared her throat, wiped away the last of her tears, and turned back to her husband’s corpse.

Sadie pulled the shredded blanket off the body, tossed it to the side and knelt beside the wagon. She laid a gloved hand on her deceased husband’s head, stroking his cheek with her thumb. Zorah took in the sight in front of her and approached Sadie. Again, she placed a hand on her shoulder, letting Sadie know she was there. “Sadie,” she began, her voice soft. “I’m gonna give you a moment with him, and go check out the barn. Maybe get the horses situated if I can. All right?”

With her other hand, Sadie patted Zorah’s hand in acknowledgment. “Thank you,” she said in a muffled, but clear voice. Zorah nodded, which Sadie couldn’t see, and went to collect the horses, giving Sadie some privacy.

 

The barn was still mostly intact. The dirt ground had hardened from the cold and just fine to set up camp on. Zorah hitched the horses in the stable place along the back wall. She brushed and fed both of them, giving them the attention they needed and deserved. She took her time unrolling the bedrolls and getting a small fire going. Smoke that would’ve filled a better insulated building, crept through the weathered boards that made up the barn’s roof.

The barn door creaked open and Sadie sidled in just as Zorah finished cooking their late lunch. Wind whistled through the boards and the horses snuffled behind them while they ate in silence. When they were done, Zorah collected Sadie’s dirtied plate, and poured more coffee into her empty cup without being asked. Sadie offered to help with cleaning up, but Zorah shushed her and told her not to worry. 

“Thank you,” Sadie said, watching Zorah tidy up their temporary camp.

Zorah shook her head as if Sadie had spoken nonsense. “You don’t need to thank me.”

Sadie nodded, understanding and too weary, emotionally, to argue.

“So, did you find a spot where you want to bury him?” Zorah eventually asked.

“Yeah, I did.” Sadie said, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

Sadie had chosen a spot off to the side of where the house had stood. Together the two of them pulled the digging tools they had brought with them and dug until night fell and they were forced to stop. In the morning they resumed their task. They barely took any breaks to rest or eat and worked in a focused silence until they were finished.

When they were done, Zorah wrapped the corpse as best as she could in a blanket Sadie had given her and together they carried him to the edge of the grave. Sadie waited a beat and swept her gaze over the covered body one last time before asking Zorah to continue helping her. With care, the two of them lowered the body into the ground. Sadie reached into the satchel she had put aside and pulled out an unopened bottle of fine brandy, and bent down to place it on her husband’s chest.

With a heavy, accepting sigh Sadie nodded to Zorah. She stood up, grabbed her shovel and began filling in the grave, Zorah following suit. When the grave was full they patted down the loose dirt with their shovels. Sadie returned to where she’d placed her satchel and picked up an engraved slate that she’d had made before they’d began their trek up the mountains. 

Zorah respectfully stood off to the side as Sadie placed the slate firmly at the head of her husband’s grave and began her eulogy with a steady voice. “Here lies Jake Adler. A great man and a great husband who was taken unjustly before his time. He was fair and wholly understanding, and I will miss him until the end of my days. I feel as if I have lived a lifetime even though he has only been gone for a few years. But I know that he would want me to find my own way and keep living on out of respect for his memory. And I promise to do just that.” 

Sadie shifted her weight and sniffed, trying to keep her nose from running. Her normally tanned and freckled cheeks were pallid and red from the hard labor and the cold gusts that whipped at them. When she spoke her voice cracked and she had to pause a moment to gather herself and continue, “Jakey, my love, I’m so sorry that it took me so long to come back for you. I always meant to, but I couldn’t until I’d gone after the monsters who took you from me. I hope that even after all this time, you’ll be able to forgive me and finally rest in peace.”

Sadie cleared her throat, but said no more as she battled her emotions. Zorah gave her a hankerchief and placed a hand on her back to show that she was there if she needed her. “Would you like me to say something?” Zorah asked.

Sadie blew her nose and answered by fervently nodding her. “Yes, please,” she said as she dabbed away the tears at her eyes.

Zorah stepped forward and cleared her throat. “I didn’t know Jake Adler,” she began. “And from what I’ve heard about him, my life is surely poorer for it. Jake was loving husband who wasn’t afraid to be with a woman who was his equal nor too prideful to treat her as such. Good men like him are hard to come by in this world and I wish I had had the pleasure to know him. May he rest in peace. Amen.”

“Amen.” Sadie finished by placing a bouquet of local wildflowers on the grave next to the tombstone. She stood beside Zorah and leaned into her, prompting Zorah to wrap an arm around her shoulders. 

They stood in silence, taking in the moment until a strong gust of wind made them stir.

“Thank you for being here with me. It really means a lot to me,” Sadie said, her head on Zorah’s shoulder.

Zorah gave a half-hearted shrug. “Ain’t nothing at all. It’s what real friends do, and I know you’d do the same for me.” Zorah rubbed Sadie’s arm and gently nudged her into moving. “Now, come on. Let’s get out of this cold.”

 

With Jake buried, Sadie focused on the rest of the homestead. In the morning they went through the remains of her old house. Most of it was ash, but they turned over every blackened board and went through every pile until they’d search the entire house. 

Sadie had managed to find the cellar door and was investigating the lower level. Zorah stood in what had been the common room. A massive charred lump stood against where a wall had been. Loose metal knobs in the pile indicated to her that it used to be a dresser or table, something with drawers. 

Sadie came up from the cellar. Soot had settled onto her clothes, leaving patches of black here and there. “Ain’t nothing down there except for a couple of canned fruits,” she said, wiggling a glass jar.

“Is that okay to eat?” Zorah asked. She was on her knees digging through the lump that had been a dresser.

Sadie made a face. “It should be? The lid is still on tight.” She stepped over the threshold, “I’m gonna pack these up. I think we’re done here.”

“Sadie, look!” Zorah called. She hopped over the rubble and jogged over to Sadie with her hand stretched out.

Sadie turned around and looked at what Zorah had found. In her hand was a sepia photo of two people. The corners had been burned off, leaving the edges black and brown. There was burn near the middle of the photo where an ember had obviously burnt out, but the faces of the people in it were untouched and still smiling.

Sadie carefully held the picture in her hands. A man and a woman stood together. The woman wore a pretty white dress and veil, and she held a bouquet of flowers. The man next to her wore black and a neckerchief that matched the one Sadie always wore. The two of them looked very happy.

“This is my wedding photo. Where did you find this?”

Zorah pointed over her shoulder. “It was buried under some rubble near the kitchen.”

Sadie looked at the picture. It depicted another life, a simpler one, but also one that felt far away and wholly different from her life now. For a while she’d never thought she’d never feel anything beyond anger and sadness again, but that had proven to be untrue. She’d made new friends and met people she now considered family. She might be a different woman now than she had been with Jake, but at her core she was still the same Sadie. And she had memories that would never fade and would always remind her of that.

She looked at the rubble and saw in her mind’s eye all the happy memories that had been made here, and then she looked at Zorah. Her familiar face and comforting brown eyes looked back at her and at once Sadie knew that the future held the potential for more happy memories to be made as long as she was with people who cared for her.

 


	2. Begin Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A follow-up to Closure.

An outdoor light illuminated two women who stood at either end of a wriggling, hogtied man. They carried him up the steps of the local Sheriff’s office as the man hurled obscenities at them, maneuvering him through the door into the building. Sheriff Harold dropped his feet from where he’d put them up on his desk and jumped up.

“You gals got him! I can’t believe it,” the sheriff said, rushing to open one of the cells. “Put him in here.”

Sadie and Zorah obliged and unceremoniously dropped their on the floor in the cell and left him tied up there. The sheriff could deal with him. After the sheriff locked the cell, he walked over to the office safe and got out the money Sadie and Zorah were owed for their successful catch. Sadie grabbed the stack of bills out of his hand and started counting them.

“Well, unfortunately, we won’t be putting up anymore bounties any time soon. The money for rewards is going to be diverted to other necessities. Sorry, ladies,” the sheriff said, looking at Zorah who had her hands in her pockets.

Sadie finished counting. “It’s all here. Thanks, Sheriff Harold.” She turned and walked out the door with Zorah following behind her. Sadie handed Zorah her half of the bounty reward when they were outside.

The town they were in was small, but big enough to have a healthy night life. People strolled by, most headed to the saloon, but some headed elsewhere. Maybe to their homes. It was still early enough to celebrate a successful catch though.

“Want to go grab some grub and a drink?” Sadie asked, gazing at Zorah over the top of her horse.

Zorah nodded. “Sounds good. I’m starving.”

The two of them unhitched their horses and walked them down to the hotel. After they’d hitched their horses up there, they walked over to the saloon and began their night of celebration.

 

Zorah sat at a blackjack table with three men. Where once she’d had a lovely mane of locs that would cascade over her shoulders, now instead she had a closely cropped fade modified from a popular look among the men to suit her natural hair. Her glass was nearly empty, but her chest was full of laughter. The men at her table shared outrageous tales and heckled the dealer whenever they lost a round, but none of their jabs held any maliciousness in them. It was all part of the game.

Sadie sat at the bar nursing her own drink, wrangling some gossip out of the bartender, and watching the room. When she looked at Zorah, she noticed her partner looking in a particular direction every few seconds. Curious, she followed Zorah’s gaze to a Black woman who sat at a table near the entrance surrounded by desperate men.

The woman had her brown hair up in a bun, loose curls draped down, framing her soft features. She wore a simple blue dress with a black corset that emphasized her cleavage. The brunette made a show of flirting with the men and laughing at the jokes they made. Maybe a working girl, maybe not, but Sadie concluded that she was definitely popular. Sadie wondered at first if Zorah had noticed something suspicious about this particular woman, but then she realized that every once in a while the brunette would look at Zorah and smile mischievously, and Zorah in return would smile back from behind her glass with a twinkle in her eyes.

Eventually, the woman got up and walked past the blackjack table, slyly trailing a finger along the back of Zorah’s shoulders as she headed towards the back. It was so subtle, Sadie swore that if she hadn’t been paying attention, she would’ve missed it. Zorah played another round and lost — Sadie suspected she might’ve done so on purpose. Zorah tossed her cards down, gathered her chips and declared that she was finished. The men she played with begged her to stay, but she told them, with a playful wink, that she didn’t want to play with a cheating dealer (who she tipped anyways).

She brought her glass over to the bar where Sadie was sitting and asked the bartender to close out her tab for the night. “I’m gonna head out, Sadie. I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?”

Sadie perked up and nodded. “Alright,” she said, lifting her glass in a salute. “Good work today. Get some rest. You earned it.”

“We both earned it,” Zorah said, tapping her glass against Sadie’s before sliding it over for the bartender to take. She pushed away from the bar and clapped Sadie on the shoulder. “Goodnight, my friend.”

Sadie returned Zorah’s ‘goodnight’ with a smile as the woman walked past her. Sadie quirked an eyebrow as she noticed that Zorah had opted not to leave out the front, but instead had headed towards the back exit. The same way that mysterious brunette had left a few minutes earlier. Sadie took another swig of her drink and mused over her long friendship with Zorah.

They’d traveled together and had each other’s backs for what felt like a lifetime. Zorah had pushed her to confront a pain that had irrevocably changed her life, and had supported her throughout her transition from homesteader to bandit to bounty hunter. But still, Sadie didn’t know all that much about Zorah West’s love life beyond rumors. The woman wasn’t hard to talk to. They could candidly talked about nearly everything. Zorah never shied away from a question. She would either answer truthfully or not at all. It was just her way, and one of her traits that Sadie really admired. But Sadie also knew that Zorah would never go into the details of her past unless she was explicitly asked, and she guessed she really hadn’t ever bothered to. Whether it was the liquor or the surreptitious exchange she’d just witnessed or both, tonight she found herself unusually curious about Zorah’s activities when she was away from her.

Sadie shook her head as if trying to dislodge the thoughts that quickly crowded her mind. No matter how curious she was, Sadie respected Zorah far too much to go after her and interrogate her on what was supposed to be a night of celebration. Sadie drained her glass and ordered another round. “Besides,” she thought, “if I really wanted to know, I could just ask her and she’d tell me.”

But in the back of her mind Sadie knew that one of the reasons she didn’t want to ask was because she feared what the answer might be.

 

Sadie woke early the next day. She braided her hair and changed into a fresh pair of clothes – a white button-up, blue necktie, and sturdy new boots – and went downstairs to inquire about the morning menu before returning upstairs to go get Zorah. Her friend’s room was at the end of the L-shaped hall while hers had been just at the top of the stairs. As she rounded the corner, she saw a woman just closing the door at the end. Zorah’s door.

It was the brunette from last night. Her hair was down now though, and her clothes were mussed, but she seemed well. Better than well. Perky, even. She ran a hand through her tangled hair trying to comb it out as she walked. The woman passed by Sadie, uttering a friendly ‘good morning,’ and Sadie returned her greeting. She turned and watched the brunette over her shoulder. The woman had apparently been too busy fixing her appearance to notice the brazen gaze that tracked her until she disappeared around the corner which suited Sadie just fine.

She stopped at Zorah’s door, thinking. Mostly about when last it’d been since she’d been with anyone in any kind of capacity. How long it’d been. What it’d been like; she could barely remember. Her eyes retraced the path the mysterious woman had taken before settling back on Zorah’s door. Trying to ignore her curiosity, she rapped on the door three times in quick succession and waited.

On the other side Zorah was just shimmying into her pants. She grinned, shook her head and walked to the door. “Did you forget something,” Zorah asked before the door had opened all the way. Her grin lessened and she felt her face flush when she saw Sadie on the other side. Her skin was too dark to betray the heat that grew on her cheeks, but Sadie knew her well enough to know when she felt embarrassed. “Sadie. Good morning,” she said, clearing her throat.

“Morning,” Sadie replied with a smirk. “You expecting someone else?”

“No,” came a terse reply.

Sadie let out an amused scoff, but didn’t press the issue. “Well, I ordered some breakfast for us. It’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

Zorah nodded. “Alright. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Well, you might wanna fix all of that,” she said, pointing at Zorah’s unsecured pants and barely buttoned shirt. Zorah looked down and scrambled to get herself together in a huff. Sadie gave her another once over and let out a hearty laugh. Zorah, looking sufficiently embarrassed, closed the door with a huff, prompting Sadie to start chuckling again.

Restraint be damned. When she found a good opportunity, she was going to question Zorah.

 

After a filling breakfast, they were on the road again. Sadie wanted to find another town where they might be able to pick up more bounty contracts, so off they went. They were riding at a leisurely pace on a road devoid of very much activity. Sadie couldn’t help thinking about the morning’s events. The sight of Zorah in such a disheveled state had been something of a shock her. Even when under fire or in the middle of a living hell, Zorah had always managed to look put together and focused. But Sadie was realizing that the vulnerability shown in and after a shoot out was nothing like the kind in the aftermath of taking someone to bed. Sadie found her curiosity building up again.

Every few steps, Sadie looked over at Zorah, examining her closely. She wasn’t being subtle about it and before long, Zorah let out a loud aggravated sigh. She looked at Sadie, irritation evident in her eyes, silently warning Sadie to knock it off. In response, Sadie playfully tilted her head a bit and lifted her eyebrows. Zorah shook her head and rolled her eyes, but eventually her shoulders dropped in resignation.

“Spit it out, Adler,” Zorah commanded. She had an inkling of what Sadie was about to ask her.

Not one to beat around the bush, Sadie asked her question directly. “Did you sleep with that woman? The brunette in the blue dress?”

Zorah had known it was coming, but a wave of discomfort still rippled through her. She shifted on her saddle and muttered, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“I ain’t judging!” Sadie said in a placating tone, aware of the frown that she knew had probably taken over Zorah’s face.

“Well, it sounds like you’re judging,” Zorah growled out, throwing a disdainful look Sadie’s way.

Sadie immediately began to regret bringing it up. She tried to sound as sincere as possible, “I’m just curious is all.” She goaded her horse into riding right alongside Zorah’s so she could place a friendly hand on her shoulder.

A bit of tension went out of Zorah shoulders, but she didn’t respond. Sadie rubbed the back of her neck and let the silence between them linger for a bit.

“You ain’t alone, you know. When I was about younger, I knew this girl,” Sadie began, catching Zorah’s attention. “Mindy Ames. We were really close. I mean, we did everything together. We were best friends. More than that.”

Zorah straightened up and looked at Sadie with a skeptical expression. Sadie cleared her throat and continued, “It didn’t end up working out between us. Actually, it ended horribly. But it did happen, and I don’t regret it one bit. It wasn’t the first or last time, but that one in particular has stayed with me the longest.”

“What about Jake then?” Zorah asked, her hard expression softening.

“Oh, I loved him. I truly did care for him. There were few before him, but he was it.”

“Did you ever tell him about the girl?”

Sadie nodded, eyes with a faraway look in them. “He was fine with it. Never judged me for it. But I just figured since I was with him, there wasn’t really a reason for me to acknowledge that other part of myself anymore. After things with Mindy, I learned that people ain’t exactly open-minded to the idea of seeing two folks of the same sex being happy together.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement,” Zorah muttered.

Sadie tipped her chin up at Zorah, “You ever go for any guys?”

“No, not really” Zorah said, shaking her head. “It’s always been women for me. There was one guy a long time ago who was decent enough who I thought I could settle down with if I had to, you know? He was good man and I think I could’ve been okay with being with him, but shit happened and I ended up having to leave that place anyways.”

Sadie nodded in understanding. Zorah sat, thinking on their conversation and then went on, “You didn’t have to tell me any of that, you know.”  
Sadie shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine. I wanted to. Just thought I’d clarify so you’d know there wasn’t anything mean-spirited behind my teasing. It’s actually kind of nice to talk about it.”

The horses had slowed and shuffled up next to each other while the two of them had been talking. Sadie’s horse rubbed its head against the other’s neck, clearly bored. Zorah playfully patted Sadie’s knee, a silent gesture to show she held no ill will towards her friend for teasing her earlier. Sadie smiled and clicked her tongue, catching her horse’s attention and getting it to straighten up enough to get some room in between the four of them.

A comfortable quiet set itself between them. The road ahead of them was still empty aside from the wildlife. In the plains parallel to them rabbits and other small critters scurried away at the sound of them while pronghorn deer merely watched them with keen and cautious eyes. In the distance, vultures circled in the sky, most likely above some kind of carcass and the winds ushered in fluffy white clouds.

Sadie pulled out a small bag and plucked out a couple leaves of wild mint and put them in her mouth. She held out the pouch to Zorah who accepted and soon was chewing on a couple leaves of mint too.

<

“I did sleep with that brunette, to answer your question. She said her name was Eve.”

Sadie let out a hearty laugh. “Was it good?”

“Oh, yes ma’am, it was.” Zorah answered, shaking her head at herself.

Sadie laughed again and shook her head at Zorah’s lascivious tone.

“So,” Zorah began again, a mischievous look in her eyes. “What about your Mindy. Was she hot?”

Confusion leapt to understanding and Sadie let out a loud guffaw. “She was gorgeous,” Sadie nodded enthusiastically.

“Brunette?”

Sadie tilted her head and looked at Zorah with a devilish smirk on her face. “Redhead,” she corrected, eliciting an impressed chuckle from Zorah.

Something changed after that conversation. In a span of just a few months, the energy between them shifted into something different. Something new and not wholly unwelcome. Innocent grazes turned into lingering touches. More and more, innuendo wove itself into their conversations and eyes noted features that they had previously been blind to.

They’d traveled together for such a long time that they normally didn’t have any issues bathing in front of each other before. Living the way they had with such a rough group of people they’d known, privacy had been a privilege that could only be bought in towns. In that camp it had not been uncommon for the women to find a secluded pond or river and go down together to help each other clean up as best they could.

Even now whenever the two of them had to wander off the main road to clean up in a river, Sadie and Zorah would take turns washing each other’s backs. But Sadie found her eyes wandering, lingering on unique features. Sadie couldn’t help but notice the way Zorah’s sinewy back muscles shifted underneath her brown skin. Sadie found herself wondering how the easy strength in them hadn’t ever caught her attention before. Zorah calling Sadie out of her reverie to continue scrubbing her back became a regular occurrence.

The nicks and freckles that littered Sadie’s nimble fingers added so much character to her deft hands and Zorah became entranced with them. She had always been aware of Sadie’s strong and sure hands, how could she not be when Sadie herself often used them to scrub her back? Now, though, they seemed to catch her attention more often. She found herself unable to look away whenever Sadie worked on her guns; how agile her hands worked when she took her guns apart to maintain them, the way the gun oil slicked up her fingers and left black stains on the rags she used to clean up after. More than once Zorah contemplated what it would feel like to have those freckled hands work at the knotted muscles in her back. Or the half-crescent indents they could leave on her skin under certain circumstances.

The sheen of sweat on an exposed clavicle. The wrinkles on a furrowed brow. A simple act that would result in a face lighting up, revealing a rare and genuine smile. Dimples, crow’s feet, and laugh lines. Eventually all these little observations and the emotions they evoked came to a head.

 

On the trail of another bounty, Sadie and Zorah decided to bed down in an abandoned cabin for the night. Weeds and brush were overgrown and wild around the house. The few windows there were were boarded up on the outside. The porch was chipped and falling apart, barely safe to tread on, and the railing was rotted, barely upright. The idea that that railing could have been able to support any kind of weight at some seemed incredulous.

They set up a canvas tent beside the house so that the horses could rest beneath it out of whatever weather decided to arrive in the night. The horses were hitched with long leads and seemed happy to graze on the knee-high grass that was growing around the cabin. Then Sadie and Zorah went to work on making the interior of the house suitable for sleeping in.

The inside of the cottage was just as rundown as the outside. The boarded up windows they’d seen on the outside were yellowing around the corners or cracked. In the kitchen, cabinet doors were barely hanging on their hinges anymore and all the exposed metal was rusted. Zorah set to work gathering wood to make a fire, ripping off some of the loose cabinet doors and breaking down the small tables and chairs. Sadie laid their bedding in front of the fireplace and set up a small gas lantern for extra light. Zorah brought the fire to life while Sadie moved on to putting their dinner together.

Outside, the sun went down and the firelight illuminated the two of them sitting next to each other, their shadows extended out behind them and flickering along with the shifting flames. Their boots sat next to the fireplace, dried mud flaking off of the leather and the orange light reflecting off of each respective pair of spurs – Zorah’s golden ones and Sadie’s silver ones. Their long guns, pistols, gun belts and bandoliers were either propped up against, piled on or hanging off of the lone armchair occupying the room. It’s torn and stained upholstery deemed it too uninviting to sit on.

Sadie handed Zorah a sandwich — salted beef with sliced tomatoes and cheese — and dug into her own. Zorah pulled out two small tumblers and a half-empty bottle of brandy, and poured two fingers worth into each glass. Zorah held up her glass and Sadie clinked hers against it, and then they both took a swig. Zorah finished her sandwich, threw another broken chair leg on the fire, and then leaned back on her arms and stretched her legs out towards the warmth of the fire.

“You remember how everyone used to sit together by the fire and sing,” Sadie suddenly asked.

Zorah hummed in assent. “Those girls loved to dance. Even Miss Grimshaw.”

Sadie poured the last bits of that open brandy evenly into both of their glasses. It wasn’t much. “God, those gals loved to talk.”

  


Zorah chuckled. “Yup.”

Sadie’s eyes traveled over Zorah. Her shirt was unbuttoned and the soft glow of the fire added a golden tinge to her exposed brown skin. The fabric curved just enough to cover most of her, but the tell-tale hill of her hidden breast was hard to ignore. Zorah’s was leaning back on her hands with her head lolling back, her back arched out and chest wide open, save for the thin fabric of her shirt, to welcome the heat from the fire. Seeing as they were sitting right next to one another and Sadie had a near perfect view down Zorah’s shirt, it was hard for her not to notice.

She cleared her throat and drained the rest of her glass, tearing her eyes away and towards the flickering flames. “You know they talked about you?”

“Yeah? What’d they say?” Zorah’s eyes were closed as she continued to stretch.

“That you were a lady Lothario who seduced any woman who was willing.”

A laugh bubbled up in Zorah’s chest and came out as a belly laugh. “I am no such thing. Who said that? It sounds like something Karen would say.”

“Yeah, it was Karen. She’d usually say something ridiculous and Tilly would jump on her about it.”

“Sounds about right.”

Sadie waited a beat, carefully observing Zorah’s body language. “She told me to watch out for you,” she said, turning her gaze back to her empty glass. Zorah finally looked at her, the mood between them beginning to shift.

“What’d she mean by that?” Zorah asked, her voice soft. Cautious.

Sadie’s light brown eyes met Zorah’s darker ones with a daring surety in them. “She said I was your type.”

Zorah broke line of sight first and cleared her throat. When she looked back at Sadie her eyes were questioning. They traced over ever line and freckle on her sun-tanned face as if trying to read her mind. Sadie continued before she could offer a retort. “Was I? Your type, I mean.”

The question caused Zorah’s heart to skip and her breath to hitch halfway through an exhale as she froze instantly. Sadie never broke eye contact, taking in every minute twitch on Zorah’s face. Any movement, she gathered like evidence, putting it all together in her mind hoping to find Zorah’s tell. Unfortunately for her, Zorah was excellent at not leaving behind evidence and she was fantastic poker player.

“I noticed you, sure,” Zorah eventually said, letting herself breathe again.

Sadie went on, “But you never approached me.” A question hidden inside a statement.

Zorah sat up and chose her next words carefully. “I felt it would be inappropriate to approach a woman so recently widowed. On top of the fact that I did not know you. Even later on, we didn’t exactly get along.”

Sadie’s eyes flitted down as she let those words sink in, really mulling them over in her mind before she responded. “I noticed you, too,” she said, coming back up to meet Zorah’s gaze. “But you were right to leave me be. I was… Mad. At the world. At myself. I’d just lost my husband and here I had the audacity to even look at someone else. I was pissed off and in a lot of pain. Might’ve contributed to my less than pleasant disposition towards you.”

Zorah’s eyebrow twitched and she half tipped her head at that. “Well, I can’t exactly hold that against you.”

Sadie sat forward and started playing with her empty glass. She shook her head at her own perceived foolishness and watched the reflection of the fire in the glass. When she didn’t say anything more, Zorah spoke up. “Sadie, I’ve always noticed you, you know. I just never wanted to overstep.”

She set her glass down and looked at Zorah over her shoulder. They were still close. Zorah had pulled her legs into a lazy crisscross and the top of her knee was pressed against Sadie’s thigh. The contact was not wholly unwelcome. “And what about now? What if I wanted you to overstep?”

“Sadie—”

“I want you.” Sadie’s voice came out low, but it was sure with no room for arguing. Zorah knew that tone, and she knew that Sadie understood what she was saying.

Zorah let out a heavy exhale, steeling herself. She braced one hand on the floor behind Sadie’s back, leaned in, and then she waited, giving Sadie the choice to pull away if she had any second thoughts. The woman beside her didn’t hesitate.

Sadie’s lips crashed into Zorah’s as she leaned all the way into Zorah’s warmth, bringing their bodies together. Zorah responded eagerly, taking in Sadie’s taste and smell. A lingering tang of brandy and the smell of earth mixed with sweat was intoxicating to her.

When they finally separated, Sadie’s hand was clenched in a fist around the collar of Zorah’s shirt and Zorah’s other hand was tangled in the hair at Sadie’s nape. Zorah set her forehead against Sadie’s. Their chests heaved erratically as the both took in fresh air. Puffs of breath swirled over each other’s lips as the stayed close. Zorah nuzzled her nose against Sadie’s while Sadie teased Zorah’s lips with her own, not letting them fully connect.

Zorah could barely see anything. Sadie was her entire world at the moment and Zorah was Sadie’s. With the fire dying down, the room around them dimmed, making it seem smaller than it was. Like they were the only ones in all of existence on an island made out of the blankets beneath them. Sadie nipped at Zorah’s lips, surprising Zorah enough for her to let out a small chuckle.

She pulled back and looked Sadie in the eye. Her want was obvious, but Zorah decided to ask as a courtesy. “You sure you want this, Sadie?”

Sadie paused for a moment before nodding. “I’m sure.”

Zorah smiled and drew Sadie closer, kissing her softly. “Good.”

Sadie laughed into her kiss and then smirked. She leaned into Zorah, pushing her down onto the blankets, and placed a hand just under her thigh, settling in between her legs. Zorah looked up at her, stunned. Sadie nipped at her lips again and smiled. “Now, we need to get these clothes off of you,” she said, a devilish twinkle in her eyes.

Zorah had barely uttered a cheeky ‘yes, ma’am’ before Sadie had gone to work undoing the rest of the buttons on her shirt, leaving a trail of kisses down her chest as she went. She paid extra attention to the hidden bit of skin that had earlier evaded her eyes. She may or may not have irreparably damaged Zorah’s shirt trying to get to it.

 

With the morning came sunlight that streamed through the boards on the windows, illuminating some of the evidence of what had happened during the past night. Zorah woke naked under a bundle of blankets, a pleasant ache radiated through her body. She smiled, remembering Sadie’s satisfying administrations. Blindly, she reached out an arm to her side where she was sure Sadie laid, but came into contact with nothing but blankets. Zorah rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked around. Sadie was gone, most likely outside taking care of the horses.

Zorah sat up and searched for her pants. She found them slung over a random broken piece of furniture. Obviously having landed there after being carelessly thrown away after Sadie had torn them off of her. She dug her pocket watch out and looked at the time. It was close to noon, much later in the morning than she had thought. She threw on a shirt and decided to brew some coffee.

With two tin cups full of fresh coffee she made her way to the front door and out onto the porch. Blinding rays of the sun and cigarette smoke greeted her. Sadie stood looking out towards the path that led out to the road with a half-smoked cigarette perched in between her fingers.

Zorah grinned and greeted her. “Made us some coffee. I noticed you hadn’t brewed any and figured you’d like some. I guess we slept in.”

Sadie didn’t look at her or respond. Instead she took another long drag of her cigarette. Zorah’s smile dropped and dread began to settle in her gut. A knowing that she wished she didn’t know. She tried again. “Sadie?” she tentatively asked, trying to get the woman to respond.

Sadie turned, but didn’t meet her eyes. Something had changed between them, again. Something that Zorah had been afraid of. Sadie’s voice was hard as she spoke, “Last night was a mistake.”

As quiet as her words had been, Zorah was still deafened by them. “Sadie—”

“We need to leave this place. Get back on the road; we’re behind schedule and our marks might have moved on by now.” Her voice was devoid of any emotion that might’ve let on to what they had done that previous night. Carefully neutral. Painfully neutral.

Zorah understood, but she wished she hadn’t. She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, not trusting herself to speak and not really wanting to as numbness settled over her. She set Sadie’s cup down on the railing’s flat surface next to Sadie. She didn’t bother trying to catch Sadie’s gaze as she turned and went back inside to pack.

When Sadie was sure Zorah couldn’t see her, she angrily wiped at her eyes shook her head, sniffling.

 

Tension weighed down on them as they traveled. They worked in relative silence, only talking when they needed to. When they caught up to their bounties, the men were in the middle of trying to blow off the door of a safe and so drunk they didn’t realize they were about to blow themselves up along with it. Zorah didn’t bother stopping her horse before jumping off of it and kicking one of the men away from the fuse he’d just lit. Sadie leapt off her horse and tackled the other man who had a delayed reaction to the arrival of his assailants.

Zorah pulled out her knife and sliced off the lit fuse before it could reach the nitro and tossed it to the side. Behind her, Sadie hogtied the struggling, slurring criminal she’d tackled. Zorah’s mark was having trouble getting up, flailing like flipped turtle and shouting gibberish. She rolled him over with harsh shove of her foot and tied him up. Sadie brought over the men’s wagon and horses.

“We can load them up in this. What do you want to do with the safe?” Sadie asked before grabbing her mark’s legs and dragging him to the back of the wagon. Zorah went over and helped lift him onto the wagon, getting a face full of spittle for her trouble as the man raged at her. Zorah growled and dropped him in retaliation, his head and neck connecting harshly with the ground. Dazed, he stopped struggling and went still. Zorah wiped the spit off her face and bent down again to help Sadie wrangle him onto the wagon.

“We should take it with us. They might offer us a reward for bringing it back,” Zorah finally answered. She went over to her guy near the safe and waited for Sadie to assist her.

“I think we should open it. See how much is in it,” Sadie responded.

Zorah gagged the men and made sure they were secured. She didn’t feel like listening to their blather for the duration of the ride back to the city. She looked at Sadie with the beginnings of a scowl on her face. “And you don’t think that we’d be the first ones they’d suspect after these bozos once they realized the money was still missing? We return it. Intact.”

“We’ll just tell them these guys spent it all on booze and prostitutes,” Sadie said, jabbing her thumb at the tied up criminals. “Who are they going to believe?”

“I ain’t arguing with you! We ain’t doing it, goddamnit! We got enough to fucking worry about. It ain’t worth the risk. Now, help me get this goddamn safe onto the wagon already.” Zorah stomped off before Sadie could respond, leaving no room at all for her to argue. After they’d loaded it up, Zorah slammed the back of the wagon closed and got upfront while Sadie tied their horses’ leads to the back of the wagon.

 

They rode hard, fast and in an uncomfortable silence towards the city. They arrived early in the morning before the sun and most of the city’s inhabitants were up. The tension between them was tangible and unyielding. Suffocating.

When they turned in their bounties, even the local sheriff and his staff picked up on the hostile energies that practically radiated off the two of them. The sheriff tried to make light of it, but his jokes fell flat and he ended up settling for just paying the women and letting them go on their way.

The two of them spent the rest of the day apart. Sadie struggled to contain herself while she was on her own. Her nerves wouldn’t allow her to eat and worry gnawed at her as she gnawed at her own fingernails. Despite how tired she was, she couldn’t sit still and spent what felt like hours pacing the length of her hotel room. She couldn’t even directly go to Zorah’s room, because she didn’t know where it was. She’d have to ask the hotel manager if she wanted to find out.

Sadie knew what she needed to do. She just needed to do it. Maybe a little liquid courage would help to settle her nerves.

After a couple glasses of whiskey, and interrogating the manager, Sadie found herself standing outside what was supposed to be Zorah’s door. She paced in front of the door, doubting her decision to come here. Normally, she was a sure woman, and so she scolded herself for her behavior. Sadie stopped pacing, squared her shoulders and raised her hand to knock on the door. At the last second, she hesitated and turned away, walking back down the hall, grumbling.

Behind her the door opened up and Sadie turned around to see another woman walked out. She had light brown skin, wore pants. Her hair was stuffed up underneath a flat cap hat and she was otherwise dressed like stable worker. She didn’t exactly look happy, but she still tipped her hat at Sadie as she passed by. Remembering the last time she’d seen a woman leave Zorah’s room, she felt a surge of jealousy rush through her. A sneer wound itself onto her face as she watched the woman walk away. She let out a huff and stomped back over to Zorah’s door, knocking before she could second guess herself again.

A weary looking Zorah answered. Her eyes widened briefly before narrowing. “Leave me alone, Sadie,” she demanded, clearly aggravated. She shut the door in Sadie’s face, before the blonde could issue a retort, and turned away. Sadie, not to be deterred, opened the door and barged in. The lights in the room were dimmed and the bed looked relatively unused. Zorah’s possessions were tidily put up around the room, but the woman herself looked burned-out.

Zorah turned around, her facial expression a mix surprise and irritation. “I said, leave me be, Sadie.”

“I need to talk to you,” Sadie pleaded.

“Well, I don’t want to talk,” Zorah yelled. She turned her back on Sadie and swiped an open bottle off the shelf. She poured herself a drink and dropped onto her rented bed, hanging her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. Brown liquid sloshed over the sides of the glass, coating her hand. Lazily she wiped her hand on the sheets on her bed. It didn’t remove all of it, but she was too tired to care.

Sadie put her hands on her hips and looked at the door. “Did the two of you have fun,” she asked, unable to restrain herself. She regretted those words as soon as they fell out of her mouth.

“Christ, Sadie. Did you really come here just to ask me that? You came all the way over here and barged into my fucking room just to try and guilt trip me about shit that ain’t none of your business?”

“No,” Sadie stuttered out, sufficiently shamed. “I came here to talk to you. Zorah, please.”

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk,” Zorah shouted. She stopped massaging her head and glared at Sadie. She pointed at her with the hand that still held her drink. “You said that you were sure. You said it twice. And then you pulled that shit on me? Rejecting me like that? No,” Zorah growled out, shaking her head. The crack in her voice became more noticeable as she continued, “You don’t get to fucking do that to me. It weren’t right, and I don’t have to put up with that. So I’m done, Sadie. I mean it, and I want you to leave. Now.”

Zorah’s eyes were red with tears threatening to flow. Sadie wasn’t faring much better. Frustrated tears had already begun to fall from one eye, leaving an unsteady trail down her freckled cheeked. She held her head back and looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously, inhaled and let out a deep exhale.

“I need to make this right. I ain’t leaving,” Sadie eventually said, her voice low and resolute.

Zorah shook her head, but didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. Her shoulders slumped down, but she didn’t respond, hoping the silence would drive Sadie away since telling her to leave clearly wasn’t working.

But Sadie remained where she was standing awkwardly near the door, not too close to it or where Zorah sat, hunched over. She knew that Zorah refused to look at her so she just began talking anyways. “You’re right that I shouldn’t have left you like that; freezing you out instead of just talking to you. I shouldn’t have done that. I just –,” Sadie stopped herself, looking for the right words and then continued. “I’m a coward, Zorah. And a fool, I know that now. When I woke up that morning with you still asleep in my arms, it was nice. It was too nice and I got scared, because I just started thinking and I couldn’t stop.

“Zorah, I wasn’t lying when I said that I wanted you. I do want you. I want to be with you more than anything else in the world. And that terrifies me. Right down to my core. I don’t think I have it in me to lose someone else. I can’t go through that again. I can’t.” By the end of it, Sadie’s voice was barely above a whisper. Almost as if she were talking to herself.

But Zorah had heard her and she shook her head in disbelief. “You ain’t the only one to lose a loved one, Sadie. You know, I would never tell you to just get over your loss — we both know that ain’t possible — but there are lots of people out there, including myself, who get up every morning and continue trying to live. People die, Sadie. Whether it’s an accident, on purpose or just old age, people die. That’s life, but sometimes you get to choose when people leave. As it stands now, you’re set to lose me tomorrow anyways, because I’m sick of playing games with you.”

“This isn’t a game to me, Zorah.”

“Really? Because these past few months have sure felt like it,” Zorah braced her elbows against her thighs, leaned forward and jabbed her finger at every word for emphasis. “I accepted the impossibility of us ever being more than just friends a long, long time ago. I told you that. And I don’t regret it. I have absolutely appreciated riding alongside you, fighting with you by my side, and sharing my meals with you. But the other night, something happened that was the culmination of a flirtation that has lasted months and seemingly came out of nowhere, and I simply cannot go back to just being friends with you after that. I can’t just bury those feelings away. Not again. Not after that.”

Sadie reviewed Zorah’s words and the pained tone attached to them. She kneeled down on the bed and folded one leg underneath her, wanting to meet Zorah at eye level, but not wanting to crowd her too much. The bed shifted and creaked with the added weight. Tentatively, she laid a hand on the dejected woman’s knee and when Zorah didn’t pull away at the contact, Sadie looked at her. Zorah’s exhaustion was obvious even if she refused to look directly at Sadie. Sadie could’ve been a mile away and Zorah’s body language would have telegraphed as if the two of them were right next to each other; up close it was impossible to ignore. In that moment Sadie felt her own exhaustion crash over her.

She was tired. Tired of fleeing from her feelings. Tired of building up walls. That night with Zorah had been freeing in a way that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She wanted more of that, but the challenge would be getting over her fears. And that was something she’d successfully been able to avoid for a while, but if she didn’t, she was going to lose to person closest to her.

“Zorah,” she said, softly. “I’m sorry for hurting you the way that I did. I know I fucked up, but I promise you that if you give me another chance, I won’t let you down again. I honestly did mean it when I said that I wanted to be with you. Please, Zorah. Would you give me another chance?”

Zorah gnawed on her bottom lip while she thought. She shrugged and shook her head, a gesture that in these last forty-eight hours had become far too common in Sadie’s opinion. A lump formed in Sadie’s throat and a pit began to form in her stomach. She opened up her mouth to repeat her question when Zorah let out a massive sigh and started fiddling with her socks, pulling them off before moving on to her pants.

“Zorah, what are you doing?” Sadie asked, her confusion at what was happening overwhelmed her.

“I’m tired, so I’m going to bed,” Zorah replied, maneuvering her now bare legs around Sadie and under the covers, her back facing Sadie.

Sadie was at a loss for words, but before she sputter out anything even barely coherent Zorah went on, looking over her shoulder, “Well, are you gonna join me or what?”

Sadie blinked stupidly as her brain struggled to process Zorah’s words. Words tried to form in her mouth, but all that she could manage to get was a croak that sounded like an addled “what?”

Zorah sat up halfway and looked at Sadie. “I said, are you gonna join me or not?”

When Sadie picked her up her jaw, a small smile made its way onto her face. She went to work pulling off her boots and then her pants like Zorah had, and crawled underneath the covers besides Zorah. Zorah hissed when Sadie’s cold feet met the back of her calves and Sadie whispered a giddy apology. She slid her arm around Zorah’s middle and snuggled up to her, paying close attention to how Zorah reacted, ready to pulled back if asked. When no complaint came, she laid her head down on the pillow next to Zorah’s and closed her eyes.

“Hey,” Zorah started. Sadie’s eyes shot open and she froze, waiting for Zorah to continue. “I was serious when I said I was tired. I don’t want to do anything else tonight besides sleep. Okay?”

A small chuckle bubbled up in Sadie’s chest. “I hear you.”

“Good,” Zorah said, wriggling into a more comfortable position. “And Sadie?”

“Yeah?” the blonde replied, busy taking in the oil and fragrance Zorah must’ve lathered into her hair and skin long before Sadie had come to her door.

“I swear to God that if I wake up in the morning, and you ain’t by my side, I’ll never forgive you,” Zorah said, rolling onto her back and looking over at Sadie.

Her brown eyes harbored a storm of emotions, but Sadie easily picked out the worry and vulnerability in them. “Promise me you want leave me again. At least not like that.”

Propped up on her elbow, Sadie looked Zorah in the eye. “I promise.”

Zorah watched Sadie hold her hand and lace their fingers together. Sadie brought Zorah’s hand up to her lips and press a delicate kiss onto the back of it.

“Yeah?” Zorah asked one last time.

With Zorah’s hand still in hers Sadie traced an ‘X’ where her heart was. “Cross my heart.”

Zorah freed her hand from Sadie’s and reached up and pulled the blonde down into a short, but heartfelt kiss. When they parted, Sadie held her forehead against Zorah’s, content smiles on both of their faces. Zorah turned back onto her side and Sadie snuggled back up against her, unable to resist leaving delicate kisses on the back of her neck. Before long, their breathing slowed and they fell asleep curled up like that; not moving at all through the night.

 

When Zorah woke the next morning, Sadie was there beside her. She was sat upright and reading the newspaper while sipping on some coffee, but she was there, crammed up beside her on that little bed. And for the rest of their time together, for as many mornings as life allowed, Sadie kept her promise to Zorah and stayed by her side.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If the format throughout this has seemed weird or off to you, I apologize. Trying to figure out the formatting has, even just to repost this, was a bit of a hassle. Also I haven't written anything besides the fics in this series in many years so I'm a little rusty lol. It was fun trying to find my "voice" again, though. These last two fics have an entirely different tone compared to the others which is I reposted them into their own little thing.  
> I feel that Sadie Adler as a character had a lot of potential that wasn't fully explored in the game. I think that Sadie was treated well enough by Rockstar's standards, but Closure and Begin Again came from finishing the game's epilogue and being unsatisfied with her ending. I wanted to see if it was possible to write a romance for a character as brokenhearted and anti-social as Sadie in a believable manner. A couple close friends tell me I succeeded in my endeavor, so hopefully you'll think so too.


	3. Reckless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion set right after the events of the epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is very fun to write. I don't know why lol. There is a sex scene in this so if you don't like that kind of stuff feel free to skip it.

Reckless

 

Jack Marston’s room was covered, wall-to-wall, in memorabilia. Posters, sketches and pictures dotted his walls, interspersed between shelves full of books that also doubled as coat hangers. Against one of the walls sat a desk covered in various knickknacks. On two of the four walls, were large windows that looked out at Beecher’s Hope and let in a healthy amount of sunlight. Abigail had put up some lovely white lace curtains and drapes that helped dim the room when necessary. It was a nice room full of a young boy’s things, and for the past three and a half weeks it had served as Sadie Adler’s sick-room.

Abigail closed the curtains, the orange glow of the light spilled out onto the porch outside emitting a dull, hazy bloom. In the dark of the night, the curtains looked like they held the sun behind them. A groan went out as Abigail finished tightening the bandages around Sadie’s chest. Noticing the sour look on Sadie’s face as she helped her lay back against the soft pillows, Abigail asked her if she was all right.

Sadie closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths before answering her, “Yeah, I’m fine. I just realized that Zorah is gonna kill me when she sees me.”

Abigail pulled the covers up to Sadie’s chest. “Zorah? You didn’t tell me you and her were still linked up.”

“Oh. Guess I forgot to mention it; what with all the commotion.”

“How is she? How long have you two been riding together?”

“Pretty much since we split up from y’all, all those years ago. And she was fine the last time I saw her.” There was a pause while Abigail fiddled with the bedding and Sadie considered telling Abigail the full extent of her and Zorah’s relationship. “We’re together, Zorah and I. Now, I mean. Romantically,” Sadie blurted out.

Abigail looked up at Sadie, eyes wide with surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” Sadie answered, slightly indignant at Abigail’s blatant disbelief. “What?”

A chuckle stumbled out of Abigail as she shook her head. She quirked an eyebrow at Sadie. “She puts up with you?”

Sadie let out a bark of laughter. “Yes,” she said with added emphasis. “She puts up with me. Although I am sure that I am constantly testing her saint-like patience.”

Abigail nodded with sympathy, laughter still playing on her lips. “I bet. So where is she then? Y’all aren’t having problems, are you?”

Sadie shook her head and raised a placating hand. “Nah. She’s down in Lemoyne dealing with some kinfolk of hers, I guess. I wanted to go with her, but she insisted on going it alone. I sent her a letter, telling her where I am once she gets back to our spot in the Heartlands.”

Abigail hummed in acknowledgment, “And that’s why you’ve been having John help you, because she’s gone?”

“Kinda. I just figured since John was around and he needed money… Well, that it’d be better to work with him, someone I trust, than some random idiot I don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, better the idiot that you know, I guess,” Abigail said with a disparaging laugh and Sadie chuckled knowingly with her. “But look: what’s done is done. John doesn’t have anymore excuses, now, and we can move on for real this time.”

“He’s a good man, Abigail.”

Abigail nodded in assent, but didn’t reply. The two of them sat in silence for a few long moments, processing. In the living room, Uncle could be heard clomping around, wood boards creaking beneath his heavy feet before the sound of a door opening and shutting made its way to Abigail and Sadie’s ears. Sadie shifted in her temporary bed and laid her head back against the pillows, staring at the decorated walls and the bare ceiling.

“Do you love her?” Abigail asked, getting up from her spot beside the bed.

Sadie looked up at her and answered without hesitation, “Yeah. I do.”

“Well, I’m sure she loves you too,” Abigail said once at the door. With some playfulness she added, “And I bet she won’t kill you if she loves you.” Bringing the conversation full circle, Abigail managed to get another hearty laugh out of Sadie that ended up causing the injured woman to wince, prompting Abigail to fawn over her a bit.

“I can only hope you’re right,” Sadie eventually responded.

Abigail winked at her. “I know I am.”

 

“I’m gonna kill her.” 

Another week had gone by when Zorah, finally back in New Hanover, stepped off her train. It was late and a stream of passengers started making their way onto the wooden platform and either went into the station or waited patiently for the station employees to collect their bags for them. Stage coaches were ready to shuttle people into town where the hotel was or to some other desired destination. 

Zorah had gone into the station to the ticket counter that doubled as the post office and asked for whatever mail had stacked up while she’d been gone. She’d been handed a small pile and summarily gone through it when she spotted a letter from Sadie. Now, she groaned and shook her head after reading it. She went back to the counter and asked for a ticket. This one for a train heading towards Blackwater.

Zorah made her way to Beecher’s Hope on a rented horse and at an easy trot. The majesty of the Great Plains was impossible to ignore. The rolling hills and roving herds of wildlife gave the impression of true seclusion away from expanding cities and the nosy individuals that inhabited them. Sadie’s letter hadn’t given her very much information; just that she had relocated to Blackwater due to bounty work and that she was staying some place called Beecher’s Hope with some mutual friends of theirs. She hadn’t said who, but at least the scenery along the way was nice.

After the time she’d spent away from Sadie, helping her remaining kinfolk, Zorah found herself imagining a life where she and Sadie lived far away from the bustle of their lives in quiet solitude. Maybe somewhere like here with hills stacked on top of each other and land that seemed to stretch out forever or maybe somewhere else like up in the woods. But definitely somewhere quiet.

Zorah chuckled to herself. Sadie would lose her mind if that ever happened. That woman lived for chaos.

 

Beecher’s Hope was a dusty ranch that desperately needed some blood, sweat and tears to be worked into its soil and encourage the land to come back to life. It wasn’t all dead grass and dry soil, and it was easy to see the land’s potential. But crossing under the arch that welcomed her onto the property, Zorah found herself unimpressed at the current state of it, and wondering just what her wilder half had gotten the two of them into.

A brand new, single story house stood out ahead of her. Other buildings were scattered around the property and equally as new and freshly built. There was a barn with a corral attached it. Dairy cows and a couple horses milled around the enclosure. A little pen cordoned off inside the corral held fluffy, dirty sheep. Behind it was a chicken coop hidden in the shade of some trees and large silo further behind. On the path to the front of the house, Zorah passed a small patch of tilled soil. Vegetables had been planted and green shoots and leaves were sprouting from the ground. A gazebo could be seen peeking out from behind the western corner of the house.

Zorah hitched her horse around the front, a decorative cattle skull perched on the awning welcomed her. She walked up the steps and over a sturdy porch to the door. Various signs of life could be heard behind it, muffled but still obvious: a conversation, boards creaking below roaming feet, the squeaking of a chair being pulled out. 

She knocked twice and waited patiently, playing with the brim of her hat as she held it in her hands. The soft sound of footsteps steadily grew louder until the person they belonged to opened the door. Zorah’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as Abigail greeted her. The brunette she practically considered to be her sister wore a nice blue blouse and a high-waisted black skirt that went down to her ankles. The years had been kind to her; she looked healthy and happy. Her eyes were full of life and Zorah was glad for her.

“Zorah!” Abigail pulled Zorah into a bone-crushing hug. Rocking Zorah from side to side as she hugged her, Abigail continued, “Oh my God, you’re finally here! I can’t believe it!”

Zorah let out a laugh. “I can’t believe it either! I had no idea what I was getting into when Sadie wrote me and told me come down here. She said she was staying with friends, but I never guessed it’d be you guys.”

“Well, come on in,” Abigail insisted. She pointed at some coat hooks, “You can hang your coat and hat up here. Everyone is inside, and I just have to show you the place!”

Zorah shrugged off her coat and hung it up along with her hat, and let Abigail lead the rest of the way. The short hallway opened up into a common room with a high ceiling, and beyond it, it bottle-necked into another short hallway that led to what Zorah correctly assumed was the back door. An open doorway and a closed sat parallel to each other on both sides of the hallway.

Abigail had furnished the open area with what seemed like everything from hunting trophies to the more practical and mundane objects needed in a home. The Marston family dinner table sat a few feet parallel to their lounging area with a low-hanging chandelier set above it. A large fireplace stood against the wall in front of the sofa, logs burned brightly and warmed up the space, and a piano was situated in the corner behind the sofa and chairs. Zorah could easily imagine Abigail sitting there skillfully playing out a tune of her choice. It was an impressive home. Zorah couldn’t tell how long it’d been up for, but clearly Abigail had immediately set to giving it some character and a much appreciated lived-in feeling. 

Uncle and John both stood up from their place by the fire. John went to greet Zorah who happily embraced him in a lopsided hug. When they separated, John called Jack over to say hi. The little boy Zorah had known had grown into a lanky, young man with an oddly glum disposition about him. 

“Hi,” came Jack’s shy greeting. His eyes didn’t quite meet hers and he stood as if he were uncomfortable with being forced to say hello.

A small, curious smile made its way onto Zorah’s face. The boy wasn’t quite as tall as she was but he very nearly was, and she figured it wouldn’t be long before his height surpassed hers to match his father’s.

“Do you remember me, Jack,” Zorah sincerely asked. Curiosity mingled with a bit of sheepishness as she got a good look at the teenager she’d once known he was a little boy.

At the question Jack looked up, finally meeting her eyes. “Well, of course I remember you, Auntie Zorah. I don’t know how I could ever forget you,” Jack replied, his shyness evaporating and conviction replacing it in his voice.

Zorah chuckled and ruffled Jack’s hair, and he smiled in return. “Good. For a moment there I was worried.”

Abigail came over and stood between John and Jack, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder and weaving her arm through her husband’s with a wide grin on her face. Zorah felt a sense of pride swell in her chest at the sight of them there. It seemed that Abigail and John had finally carved out a place for themselves where they could truly begin their new lives and give their son the kind of upbringing they wished they’d had.

Abigail looked expectantly at Zorah as she stood with her hands on her hips and took another look around the room. Abigail flitted on her feet and flexed her fingers anxiously as she stood entangled around her boys, waiting for Zorah to finish taking it all in. 

“Well,” Abigail began, unable to wait any longer. “What do you think?”

Zorah smiled wide and her eyes crinkled with genuine fondness. “I think it’s wonderful, Abigail. Y’all did real well for yourselves,” Zorah said before looking at John. “You really stepped up here. I’m proud of you, of both of you.”

John’s face flashed with a rare blush and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking bashful. “Thank you, Zorah,” he said before clearing his throat. “That means a lot coming from you.”

Zorah raised a hand and modestly dismissed his words. Before she could reply to him a gruff voice harshly interrupted their conversation.

“Hey, what about me? Y’all are just standing there, being all mushy and you ain’t even acknowledged me! That’s rude! Even for you, Zorah West.”

Zorah turned her head towards the voice and sucked her teeth in a flash of irritation. “Leave it to an old, mangy dog like you to ruin a heartfelt moment, Uncle. Let me reassure you though: the fetid smell coming off of you and stinking up the place made it impossible for me to truly ignore your presence.”

Uncle turned up the histrionics and sputtered out his objections in a way that almost made Zorah think he was having a fit before he threw up his hands and walked out of the common room. Zorah watched him go with a scowl. Jack used the moment to excuse himself and go back to the book he’d been reading.

“How is that man not dead yet,” Zorah mused aloud. “Tell me his being here is a temporary concession?”

Abigail shook her head with a distinct “I don’t know” flavor to it while John just chuckled. “Believe it or not, Uncle was actually kind of useful while we were building the house,” John replied.

“I don’t believe it,” Zorah said matter-of-factly. “So, Sadie. Is she here? Like I said, her letter said she was staying with y’all.”

Jack, curled up on the couch and out of the way, peered over his book at the three of them. Abigail shared a look with John that Zorah didn’t quite catch before puttering around to the table. She fiddled with the tablecloth and flattened out any wrinkles that might be in it. “She’s here,” Abigail said after she finished fidgeting.

“Okay, great. Where?” Zorah asked, craning her head towards the other hall and the rooms Abigail hadn’t gotten to show her yet, not yet catching onto Abigail’s discomfort.

“Well,” Abigail nervously began. “She’s here. She’s fine.”

Zorah shifted her full attention towards Abigail and placed her hands on her hips. Her eyebrows quirked in suspicion. “Abigail, you already said that. And why wouldn’t she be fine?”

“Something happened,” John interjected, his hands already going up in a placating gesture.

Zorah’s eyes narrowed. “What happened,” she asked, with a sudden edge in her tone.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Sadie’s much missed and gruff voice cut in from behind her.

Zorah turned around and her eyes locked on the woman she’d considered her partner in more ways than just one. The blonde she’d been apart from for several agonizing months stood just inside a hallway. She wore a simple white shirt with a standing collar and the top-most button undone, and a long brown skirt that stopped around her ankles. She was missing her hat, and her hair had been taken out of its signature braid so that it draped freely over her shoulders. Her freckled face was paler than usual, but still held some color in it. Her stance was a bit off-kilter though, and when she moved forward into the common room an involuntary wince flashed across her face like lightning in the night. There, obvious, and impossible to ignore.

“Sadie,” Zorah said, taking in as much of Sadie’s appearance as she could. She eventually came to the conclusion that she didn’t like what she saw.

“Hey, sweet thing,” Sadie drawled with a lopsided grin on her face. She settled a hand on her left side just below her breast as if in pain.

Zorah’s brow knotted in worry. She gritted her teeth and repeated her earlier question, “What happened?”

“We got Micah,” Sadie said as if that explained everything.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“John, Charles, and I hunted him down. Took us up the mountain. There was a fight. A big one, but we got him, Zorah.”

“I don’t give a shit about Micah,” Zorah snapped. “What happened to you?”

At the sudden yelling, Abigail went over to Jack and ushered him up out of his seat and towards his room. Sadie looked at her feet and then took a deep breath before looking back up at Zorah. “I got stabbed. But I’m fine though. I’m here, Zorah. You don’t need to be upset. I’m alive!”

Zorah shook her head in disbelief. “You got stabbed,” she yelled pointing at Sadie’s side. “You nearly died? Why didn’t you write to me and tell me what you were planning? I would’ve come back.”

This time it was Sadie’s turn to shake her head. She ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “It would’ve taken weeks for you to get the message and make your way over here. We didn’t have that kind of time! If we had waited, we could’ve lost our chance to get revenge for Arthur!”

“Arthur?” Zorah asked, taken aback. She let out a bitter laugh before she continued, “Arthur is fucking dead, Sadie. He has been for years, and you’re telling me that you almost got yourself killed trying to get revenge for him? How many times did that man say, specifically, that revenge is a fool’s game?”

Sadie worked her jaw and clenched a fist at her side, but didn’t respond. John took the moment to step into the argument. “It wasn’t just for Arthur, Zorah. Micah had been killing folks. Innocent people and even children. He needed to be stopped.”

“And you were the one to do it, huh? After all this,” Zorah said, gesturing to the house around them and Abigail who had just returned from Jack’s room. “You figured the risk of losing all of this was worth ridding the world of one filthy bastard? You know that there are thousands of depraved degenerates out there, harming innocent people daily, right? You’re aware of that? Y’all gonna pick up your guns and go hunt them down as well?”

Abigail looked at John in a way that suggested she agreed with Zorah, and the man found himself unable, or unwilling, to fire a retort back at Zorah. 

“You ain’t being fair, Zorah,” Sadie said, calling Zorah’s attention back at her.

“What ain’t fair, Sadie Adler, is you going up that mountain without me by your side. Ready to die with me none the wiser several states away. That’s what’s unfair,” Zorah shouted, hurt laced throughout her words.

“I ain’t dead, Zorah! I’m right here, and I never planned it on being any other way. Micah’s dead, we’re rich, and I’m alive,” Sadie maintained. She reached out to grab Zorah’s hand in an effort to prove her point. To prove to the woman she loved that she was right there in front of her, breathing, healing, and full of life.

But Zorah snatched her hand away just as Sadie grazed it. Sadie looked at Zorah, silently pleading with her to understand and forgive her, but nothing in the tumultuous storm of emotions raging across Zorah’s features hinted at giving Sadie what she wanted. Instead, Zorah shook her head and turned on her heel, marching back to front door. She grabbed her coat and hat, opened the door without a word and strode out. Sadie followed behind her as quickly as she could, repeatedly asking what she was doing.

“You say you’re alive and that’s true, but right now all I can see is your corpse being buried in the snow up on some godforsaken mountain. I can’t believe you chose to go up there without me,” Zorah said, stopping on the deck to look at Sadie. Zorah walked away to unhitch her horse. Abigail and John had followed the two of them silently and at a distance, and now came out onto the deck to stand beside Sadie, who’d gone quiet, her eyes stinging.

“You just got here. Where are you going?” Abigail asked as Zorah swung herself up onto her saddle.

“I can’t be here. I’m gonna rent out one of those little cabins outside of Blackwater,” Zorah responded, the heat going out of her words. She sent a sad look towards Sadie, “I need to think otherwise I’m gonna just end up saying something I’ll regret.”

And again without waiting for a response, Zorah left the way she came. Abigail, John and Sadie watched her go; Abigail gently hugging Sadie as she tried to blink away the tears that had threatened to fall in fervor. Sadie cleared her throat and dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. She sniffled and straightened up out of Abigail’s one-armed hug.

“Well, at least she didn’t kill me like I thought she would,” Sadie grumbled, uncomfortable with the emotional scene that she’d have preferred be private. Abigail and John looked at Sadie unable to determine if they should laugh at the quip or not. They opted not to and instead Abigail offered a suggestion.

“We should go inside. I’ll get out some scotch and get to work on dinner. How’s that sound?”

Sadie nodded dully and let herself be led back into the house.

 

She waited three days before going to find the cabin Zorah had rented out. It was small and private, just outside the growing city, and right on the water. When Sadie came riding up, Zorah was standing on the deck that doubled as a modest dock, struggling with a fish the end of her line. A metal bucket sat beside her with one lone fish already in it, but it sat ignored while Zorah reeled in her newest catch. Her rod bent in an arc so severe that Sadie couldn’t believe it was still intact. Sadie sat patiently on her horse watching the muscles in Zorah’s forearms bulge. Her entire body seemed to contract as she battled with the lake monster trying to free itself.

It’d been a long time since Sadie had seen Zorah in all her glory, but she could easily imagine what the taut muscles of her naked back looked like beneath the shirt she wore; the way Zorah’s soft brown skin likely shifted above her tensed abdominals, the cascading hills of flesh they made; and the scars –large and small, shallow and deep– that littered her body. Sadie swore she’d had kissed and memorized every single one, and Zorah the same with her, but she found herself wondering if her partner had accumulated any more since they’d been apart like she had. She ached to find out.

Zorah’s line snapped just as Sadie stepped down off of her horse. She stumbled back and let out a string of curses before unceremoniously tossing the fishing rod down on the dock. She bent down to pick the bucket with her one successful catch in it with a growl. She froze when she noticed Sadie and her horse in her peripheral. She righted herself, bucket dangling in her hand, and walked over.

“Let me get your bag for you,” Zorah said. Their few days apart had eased her temper and her words came out soft, if still a bit cold. But Sadie determined that it was progress she would not begrudge.

“It’s fine. I can get it myself,” Sadie replied, but Zorah had already reached up and grabbed Sadie’s canvas bag from its perch on the horse. Zorah jerked her head towards the cabin’s door, inviting Sadie to follow her.

 

Sadie spent the majority of each of the next couple of days puttering around the small cabin before being ordered to get in bed and rest. She listened because she hoped that each time she did it softened Zorah further. They hadn’t spoken any more about their fight at the Marston’s or about Sadie’s trip into the mountains with Charles and John, but it had been for the best. The two of them tried to stay out of each other’s way and only commented on fairly trivial topics like what they should have for their next meal. Sadie hoped that soon they’d be able to stop tip-toeing around and open up to one another again. She missed the easiness they’d had between them before Zorah had left. When they’d been so in sync that they’d been able to predict one another’s wants before they were even voiced.

On their second night in the rented house, Sadie had retreated to their bedroom and had just fallen asleep when Zorah walked in. She’d been gone for most of the day leaving Sadie alone to her own devices. Despite healing well, Sadie had promised Zorah not to strain herself too much and stay out of trouble. It hadn’t left her with much to do, and she’d spent most of her time bored out of her mind.

The sun had gone down and the temperature had dropped. From the doorway, Zorah looked at Sadie, propped up and asleep in bed, and as quietly as she could, began taking off her boots. The room was small and only a single candle was needed to keep the darkness at bay. The wood burning stove was still going, but only just. She opened the small door, which creaked loudly in turn, winced at the sound of it, and added a few small logs to the fire. She held her hands out, letting the fire warm them before going to the armchair beside the bed, settling down into it, and drawing the quilt that she’d draped over it around herself. Zorah propped her elbow up on the chair’s arm, rested her head on her hand and closed her eyes.

“You really gonna sleep in that damn chair again instead of the bed?”

Zorah opened her eyes to see Sadie’s hazel eyes staring at her. “Yup,” she said with a sigh and closed her eyes again.

Sadie rolled her eyes. “How long are you gonna be mad at me for?”

“Forever,” Zorah replied without opening her eyes again, but her raspy words held no real bite to them. Sadie smirked.

“Forever’s a long time, hon.” 

Zorah shifted in her seat, but refused to open her eyes or reply. 

Sadie continued, “I’m right here, and you’re acting as if I really did die on you when obviously that ain’t the reality.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Sadie.”

“You sitting there still mad as hell at me. You’ve barely said a word to me since I got here. As exhausting as it’s been walking on eggshells around you, I’ve just been happy to see you, you know. I’m tired of fighting, Zorah.”

“Christ alive,” Zorah grumbled, getting ready to stand up.

“Hey, now. Where are you going?”

“I told you I didn’t want to talk about it. I’ll sleep on my bedroll or something. Maybe then I’ll get some peace,” Zorah curtly replied.

Sadie reached out and latched onto Zorah’s wrist. The movement pulled at her injured side and caused her to wince, but still she refused to let go.

“Sadie, let go of me. You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Zorah said, her voice softening a bit.

“We both know I’m stubborn enough to ruin myself when I say I ain’t letting you just walk out of here,” Sadie said, defiant. “Please, Zorah, would you just stay? I’m right here, and I’m alive. Let me prove it to you.”

The innuendo made Zorah’s brown cheeks heat up, but she chose to ignore it. “Sadie, you’re being ridiculous. Now stop it.”

“No, you’re the one being ridiculous. Now c’mere.”

Zorah stood awkwardly with her wrist hanging limply in Sadie’s hand. She scrunched up her face before eventually deciding to give into Sadie. The chair had been pretty uncomfortable to sleep in.

“Well, are you getting in here with me or what,” Sadie asked, sliding the covers back a bit.

“You’re still healing.”

“I’m healed up enough,” Sadie said, waggling her eyebrows.

“My pants are dirty,” Zorah said, highly aware of how weak the excuse was.

“So then take them off.”

Zorah wriggled her wrist and Sadie’s hand along with it. “Kind of need both hands to do that.”

Sadie playfully narrowed her eyes at Zorah and said, “You ain’t gonna run off if I let go, will you?”

“No,” Zorah replied, a mocking tone in her voice.

Sadie loosened her grip on Zorah’s wrist. Her hand slowly slipped down to Zorah’s fingers, their hands coming together, Zorah’s fingers in Sadie’s palm, a quick squeeze shared between them before Sadie briefly locked her digits around Zorah’s until she broke contact altogether and let them fall.

Zorah shrugged off her suspenders then undid the button on her jeans and shimmied out of them. Her button up shirt ended just below her hips, and she crawled into bed next Sadie in just that and her underthings. She propped herself up on her side, careful of Sadie’s injury, while the blonde snuggled up close and idly played with the buttons on her shirt. 

Sadie dipped her head and nuzzled her face into the crook of Zorah’s neck while Zorah sat unimpressed with her affections. Sadie muttered her praises into Zorah’s warm skin and deeply inhaled the scent of her and the familiar mixtures of oils Zorah routinely rubbed into her skin. Methodically, she peppered a trail of kisses up to Zorah’s jaw, stopping to nip at her earlobe, before continuing to her lips where Zorah finally softened and sighed into the contact, her body relaxing nearly all at once. 

Sadie hooked the arm on her bad side under Zorah’s propped up arm and gently encouraged her partner to move her body closer by flattening her hand against Zorah’s clothed back. Zorah responded by bringing her free hand up to cup Sadie’s face and leaning fully into her, deepening their kiss. Sadie wrapped her arms around Zorah, one across the back of her shoulders and the other around her waist. For a few sensual moments they relished in what their first reunion should’ve been, intimately reacquainting themselves with one another.

They parted reluctantly and Zorah closed her eyes and set her forehead against Sadie’s, rubbing her nose against Sadie’s every few seconds. Sadie smirked just as Zorah opened her eyes again.

“I guess forever ain’t that long after all,” Sadie said, clearly pleased with herself.

Zorah rolled her eyes and put some space between them. “Hush.”

Sadie leaned up to catch Zorah’s lips with hers but her partner jerked her head back before she could and narrowed her eyes at her. Sadie hooked a finger in the waistband of Zorah’s underthings and tugged at it. Her provocations earned a kiss that quickly turned into a bite as Zorah tugged on the lip she had between her teeth. Sadie let out a sound between pain and pleasure, and Zorah shifted to fully straddle her lap. Sadie responded by slipping her hand down past curls and in between the soft, silky core between Zorah’s legs.

“God, you’re already wet,” Sadie whispered, her voice husky with excitement. Zorah, distracted, let out a choked moan as Sadie palmed her clit and ran a finger around her entrance before gently sliding it inside. Sadie experimentally pumped her finger in and out of Zorah at a slow, teasing pace, drawing out quiet, restrained moans from Zorah. She continued in this way until she was sure Zorah was ready for something more vigorous.

“Fuck,” Zorah gasped out when Sadie added a second finger. She moved her hips in time with Sadie’s thrusts and set her hand just above the side of Sadie’s head for leverage. The sounds of their coupling filled the room: The bed creaking in rhythm with each movement they made, the muted hymn of skin craving skin, and Sadie’s soft murmurs mixed with Zorah’s increasingly unintelligible keening. 

In no time at all, their even tempo turned erratic. Sadie upped her pace, driving her fingers as fast and deep as she could. Zorah’s arm gave out from under her, driven senseless by Sadie’s sudden change in speed, and her fists mindlessly grasped at the bed sheet. Her hips struggled to keep up and eventually she gave up trying altogether.

Sadie, holding Zorah close, let out a yelp just as a strangled yell escaped from Zorah’s mouth. All at once Zorah’s body clenched up and a wave of ecstasy traveled through her that left her body jerking sporadically. She collapsed on Sadie in a huff, their bodies forming an awkward, tangled “Y” together. With one hand trapped between Zorah and her, Sadie rubbed Zorah’s lower back with the other as Zorah buried her face in the crook of her own arm and caught her breath. As Sadie’s fingers worked their way up and Zorah’s chest heaved up and down, Sadie craned her head and placed a sloppy kiss on Zorah’s shoulder.

“Well, that was quick,” Sadie quipped.

“Shut up,” came Zorah’s muffled and breathless reply. Sadie chuckled and wriggled a little from underneath Zorah, prompting the woman to shift her lower half off of her, settling next to her on her stomach.

“Missed me, huh,” Sadie asked, continuing with her teasing. She brought up her sticky hand to Zorah’s face which Zorah swatted away before it touched her.  
Zorah’s answer was curt, but less cold and more just unwilling to yield to Sadie’s teasing. “No.”

Sadie hummed in mock disappointment and met Zorah’s one eyed stare. “You love me though.”

Zorah blinked slowly and exhaled deeply through her nose. “Against my better judgment.”

The reply earned another smile and it seemed to Zorah that nothing she could say would break Sadie’s high mood. She found herself reluctant to keep trying. Turning over onto her back, she tried futilely to fix her button-up. Several buttons had come undone, leaving her chest and stomach visible in places, and her underwear was a mess. Sadie fixed the blanket around them, a much easier task. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that ‘ow’ you let out before. I wasn’t that distracted,” Zorah softly admonished.

Sadie winced, caught. “You might’ve been right about me needing more time to heal. Give me another week, though, and you can show me how it’s really done. And then I can properly ravage you.” Sadie looked at Zorah and winked. Zorah smiled weakly, tired. “So when are you going to tell me about your trip to Lemoyne,” Sadie asked, unwilling to let silence fall between them again, no matter how sated and comfortable.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s a long story.”

“Well, all right,” Sadie replied. She set her hands on her stomach and anxiously tapped her fingers, unable to ignore the elephant in between them even after their reunion. “I told you I’d prove to you I was alive didn’t I?” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

“Ain’t do much to prove you ain’t a massive jackass,” came Zorah’s icy reply.

Sadie couldn’t help the flash of irritation that shot through her. “What the hell was I supposed to do? Nothing, Zorah? I couldn’t do nothing.”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about this tonight!”

“Well, when the hell are we gonna talk about it? Because we need to talk. You said you needed to be with your family, so I let you go!”

“YOU ARE MY FAMILY!”

Sadie laid there shocked at Zorah’s outburst. Zorah’s chested heaved, but unlike earlier. now it was entirely due to how upset and distressed she was. Sadie looked at Zorah to see that her eyes held immense amount of hurt in them. Her expression in that moment was the same as when they’d fought at the Marston’s house and as Sadie looked at the sheer exhaustion that crept over Zorah’s features, she found herself exhausted as well. She moved to touch Zorah’s arm, but just as she did Zorah threw back the covers and started getting up. “Hey, where are you going?”

“I need space.”

A stormy mixture of emotions flashed over Sadie’s face. “It’s late. Stay in bed,” she pleaded.

“No.” Zorah said, pants clutched in her fist and out of the room, gone before Sadie could even reply.

Sadie groaned. She tossed her head back onto her pillow and glared at the ceiling, petulantly. She whispered to herself reproachfully, “God, I'm a fool.”

 

Zorah stood on the dock sipping at her late morning coffee. The bay stretched out before her, sun reflecting brilliantly off of the water, and the sounds behind her told her that life in Blackwater was finally hitting its stride for the day. She took one final swig of the coffee in her cup before flinging the last dregs of it out into the bay, and went back inside the little house.

She’d had an uncharacteristically late start to the day. Sadie was gone before Zorah had even gotten up. Zorah had no idea where she had disappeared to, so she’d opted to maintain her neglected weapons while she waited for Sadie to come back. After last night, they could no longer avoid it: They needed to talk.

Zorah got her pistols, rifle and shotgun out of their respective cases and holsters, and set out rags and her gun oil. One by one she took them apart, spreading the parts neatly on top of the table, thoroughly cleaning each part, put them back together and packed them back up. The methodical work helped to clear her mind.

She was almost done, in the middle of cleaning her rifle, when Sadie finally came back. She looked well, no wincing or involuntary touches to her healing wound that Zorah could see. Carrying some bags, Sadie glanced at the organized chaos Zorah had laid out on the table and headed over to the kitchen counter. Sadie beat Zorah to a greeting before she could ask if they could talk.

“Hey,” Sadie said with caution in her voice. Zorah grabbed a rag, wiped the oil off her hands as best she could, and went over to Sadie who proffered a single sunflower.

Zorah cocked her head, baffled. “What’s this for?”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“Oh, Sadie—,”

Sadie held up a hand, interrupting Zorah. “No. You were right. I was reckless. I never got to tell you the full story. Charles, John and I made our way up that mountain. Charles got clipped and had to fall back a bit, but after a couple more shootouts I got cocky, and ran ahead of John. I got jumped, stabbed. John saved me. That should’ve been the end of it, but I couldn’t just stay back and not see it all through, you know?”

Zorah stood with her arms crossed and leaned against the counter, listening, and nodded for Sadie to continue. The sunflower hung limp in her hand, forgotten. 

“So I dragged my ass up the rest of the way and we ended up in a three-way standoff with Micah with his goddamn dual pistols. We could’ve gotten him, easy. It was two against one. But then, out of the shack they had been holed up in comes Dutch. Of all people, goddamn Dutch Van Der Linde. He had his gun on John and suddenly our victory wasn’t looking so sure, and I was fading. It was just a bunch of yelling then. Bringing back Arthur’s ghost, all the shit Dutch had put us through, Micah’s rancid existence in general. All of it. Then just like that, Dutch shoots Micah. Kills him dead, and walks off. Like it weren’t no thing at all. Just a dead look in his eyes as passed by. He didn’t say a word.” 

Sadie shook her head, trying to clear the bad memory from her mind. “You were right, and I’m sorry. I would have died up there. We should’ve left shit alone.”

“Well, I wasn’t entirely right. You are alive. And Micah,” Zorah sighed, running a hand over her scalp. “Micah ruined everything and the world is better off without that rat-bastard in it. It does makes me feel better knowing he isn’t just out there somewhere, sowing discord and getting away with it. At the Marston’s though… Sadie, I reacted like that because what I had feared the most while I was apart from you had happened – or nearly happened. I worried a lot while I was away. I just don’t know what I would do if you had died, and to find out you almost did? I lost it. But you were right: Even if you had let me know, I wouldn’t have been able to come and help in time. I would’ve been just even more worried, and unable to finish what I needed to do down there. I guess, the realization that there’s just nothing I could have done to be there with you broke me. I should’ve been happy you survived at all, but instead I was cold towards you, and I’m sorry for it.”

Sadie came forward and took both of Zorah’s hands in her own. She ran her thumbs over them in circles, reveling at their raised veins and the life that pumped through them. Sadie shuffled in closer to Zorah and left a tender kiss on her lips. Zorah eagerly received and reciprocated it. A crooked grin crept on Sadie’s face, “I guess we were both wrong.”

Zorah scoffed and raised a playful eyebrow. “Call it even?”

Sadie took Zorah’s hands and placed them around her waist, setting her own on Zorah’s shoulders and then casually crossing them behind her neck. She kissed her again. “Even.” They stood like that, just holding each other for several serene moments.

“Hey,” Sadie said as softly as her gravelly voice allowed. “Did you mean what you said last night? About me being your family, too?”

Zorah moved a strand of hair out of Sadie’s face and tucked it behind her ear. She marveled at the freckles that peppered her partner’s face and most of her body and her hazel eyes that held so much life in them. “Yeah,” Zorah nodded. “I meant it.”

Sadie nodded and grinned wide, but was otherwise rendered speechless. A blush bloomed across her sand colored cheeks and Zorah felt warmth blossom in her chest. Sadie pulled away to reach for the bags she left on the counter.

“The sunflower wasn’t the only thing I got you.” She reached into a bag and pulled out two chocolate bars and then two boxes of express ammo out of the other.

Zorah laughed at the combo. “Just what I needed. Thank you,” she said with a wry smile.

“I know what my girl likes.”

“Then you know that I would like to go get some lunch. All I’ve had is coffee and some fruit.”

Sadie pecked Zorah on the cheek. “On it,” she said and led the way out of the house, holding the door open for Zorah.

They walked hand-in-hand until they hit the main street, Sadie throwing out ideas of what they should do with her share of the money she’d found and split with the boys. She proposed they go to South America and settle somewhere along the coast. An outlandish idea that Zorah ran with, saying maybe they could have a small farm there as well. It was an idea that made Sadie’s eyes twinkle.

The truth of matter was that they could go anywhere with that money. Zorah probed the possibility of sending some of it to her kinfolk still in Lemoyne. Maybe even delivering it themselves. Sadie found herself agreeing to it without hesitation.

They brain-stormed, too, about what to get for lunch. Stopping at a crossing, they let a horse and coach pass them by before continuing. They decided on a small restaurant with an outdoor section and once sat, they waited patiently for their food to arrive by focusing on the basket of fresh bread, cheese and butter their waiter set out for them.

“So,” Sadie began around a mouthful of bread. “You still haven’t told me about how your trip to Lemoyne went.”

Zorah cocked her head and swallowed. Her heart swelled at the sight of the crass woman in front of her in such high spirits, and she found herself excited at the prospect of the two of them falling back into their old and familiar dynamic. “That,” she grinned up Sadie, already buttering up another piece of bread. “Is a story for another time. Let’s just enjoy today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU Sadie Adler never got turned into a damsel in distress on the mountain 'cause that never made any sense to me when it happened in game. It actually really irritated me when it happened.
> 
> First time writing a sex scene... Hopefully it wasn't terrible lol. I wanted to write it as an example that sex isn't a magical fix for conflict. Hopefully that came through. 
> 
> I plan on writing a fic detailing where Zorah was and stuff. Don't know if I'll post it though. Anyways, thanks for reading!


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